


You Are The Reason

by sheswalkinginbeauty



Category: Spiderman - Fandom, tom holland - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Hollywood couple, Tom Holland/ Reader - Freeform, bestfriends, tom holland fanfic, tom holland fic, tom holland fluff, tom holland imagine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-07-13 13:37:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16019030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sheswalkinginbeauty/pseuds/sheswalkinginbeauty
Summary: "I could be anything in the world, yet I wanted to be yours. But you don't love me yet.....or do you?" The whole world thought you're together but something's stopping you, something's stopping him.





	1. Missed You

**Author's Note:**

> I needed a face for all my daydreaming, then Mr. Tom Holland appeared with all his charmness. This story is gonna be divided into two POVs, yours and Tom's. I only ever read 2 or 3 imagines before. This is my take. I hope it's ok.

**Your POV**

“Love you too Mum. Say hi to Dad for me, alright?”

  
I will. Take care love and good luck tonight. I know you’ll be great..”

  
Call end: 6:18pm

  
I threw my phone on the plush bed behind me and stood over the whole body mirror. My head swam with the conversation I had with my mother. Me and my parents moved to St. James London where which I spent more than two decades of my life. Although, the States is where I was born and where most opportunities present itself, I love London. I love how devoted people can get during sport matches. Love the persistent rainy weather. Love the sophistication and elegance of tradition.”

  
I adjusted the thread that were the spaghetti straps on my satin dress as I stare at my reflected image. Cara and Angie –my makeup artist and stylist- approved of my barely there makeup and choice of dress for tonight. They were surprised at how I was able to pick a proper event attire that deviated from my usual preference of long sleeved gowns or corporate wear. Buying extravagant formal attires that I only got to wear once sure were not my cup of tea. Although, a number of fashion boutiques occasionally lend me dresses for whatever event I feel like attending, most of the dresses were too flashy and far from my demure and “grandma” taste.  
The provocative allure of the cream-coloured fabric which proudly hugged my physique on the right places was, in my opinion, complaisant enough for the hungry and condemning eyes of Hollywood. Not that I trouble myself with what they assume of me.

The cowl neckline bared the upper part of chest modestly. My inner grandma approves- - as my stylist liked to call it. If I ever felt that this dress was becoming too overwhelming for me tonight, I could coverup with a coat or with the lazy waves of curls cascading down my exposed mid-back. The dress maybe floor length but Angie made sure that the strappy heels matched and finished the vintage look I’m opting for tonight. I remembered her this morning, exuberantly pushing me towards the shower in order to get me into that dress I bought Saturday of last. You See, I lack the creativity to put two outfits together. Most days I just threw on the usual mid-length corporate dress I could find in my or my roommate’s closets. Angie told me once that it is her sole job to make me look like my worth and so I should just let her dress me up. The times I let her do so could only be counted in two hands. But I love having her around, it makes me feel like being at home with an assertive aunt.

  
“What do you think buddy? How do I look?” I glanced over to the body of thick fur by my bed.

My dog’s head perked up upon hearing my voice. He gave me a small huff before resuming his head in between his fat paws. I gave him a small smile and squatted down beside his large head.

  
“You still feeling dicky darling?” I purred while scratching his head. My dog has been recovering from a bad cold three weeks ago. I managed my time to personally bring him to the veterinarian clinic. They released him after four days along with a few supplements to treat and maintain him in good shape. Most days he’s a ball of energy, other days he likes to spread out and sleep on the available space next to me.

  
“Im surprised he hasn’t jumped up on you yet. We’re supposed to clean his saliva off of you by now. “ Cara- my makeup artist whose translucent Asian complexion I envy the most- interrupted. She walked over to the vanity table beside my closet.

  
“Do we need to bring him to the vet?” She added sensing my concern for my beloved pet.

  
“I could bring him on Monday.” I replied, sighing while I stood up.

  
“I’m sure he’ll be fine love. “ She offered me a small smile before grabbing the hairspray on my dresser.

  
“Anyway, your friends are here... Close your eyes... they arrived while you were.... one more... on the phone with your mom. “ she sprayed the mist on either side of my eyebrows. “What do you sometimes call him again? Beefcake?” She set down the spray and grabbed two makeup brushes on each hand. 

The muffled voices from the soccer channel and intermittent gibes confirming my guess that the two men have arrived and sprawled out on the sofa while the other may have commanded the other to rummage my fridge for food.

  
“Jaffa cake.” I corrected her behind my giggles. “Yeah, I heard the ruckus downstairs. Is Gabby with them? I didn’t hear her voice.” 

"Yup. Your roommate arrived with them.. let’s see your cheekbones.. she buzzed them in while Anj and I were busy drooling over cute dogs on the net.” She dabbed my cheeks one last time and stepped away to clean the mayhem on my vanity table.

  
“Hey, how long do we have to keep waiting for Her Majesty?” Thomas Holland’s disembodied voice echoed from down the staircase before I heard his footsteps continuing his ascend up my loft.

  
“Done!” Cara and I yelled from my room. It’s not like they’ve been waiting for an hour down there.

Surprising me and Cara, my dog suddenly leapt up and headed over to nudge the ajar glass door to greet the intruder. The curtains of my glass walled bedroom were drawn in, allowing me a moment of privacy from whoever will arrive at the door downstairs. But I could make out their silhouttes, my dog on his hind legs as he welcomed Tom.

He stopped on the landing and I heard him say, “Hey!! No love, don’t go down. Tessa’s not there, sorry. “ He called out to the bouncing dog descending down the stairs, wanting to check for himself if Tom did or didn’t bring his playmate around.

  
I put my hands behind my hips and prepped myself a jocular glare. His toothy grin widened as he contemplated the change.

  
“You’ve outgrown your geriatric taste then? Anj must have been bawling for joy. “

  
“Get lost.” I popped my shin behind my leg to adjust the straps digging on my right heel. He didn’t took another step into my bedroom. The teasing smirk on his features could tear his face in half and I found myself mirroring it.

  
“Im gonna head downstairs for a quick drink. “ Cara cut in. Her phone in her hand. “The car’s gonna be here in 20 minutes. We’re gonna meet your people on the venue.” She took long once-over perhaps to check any misalignment that may have escaped her notice then she walked out, makeup box in tow, muttering a Hi to the smiling twit who stood on the wall beside the doorway.

 

He cleaned up good, he always does, although I won’t admit him that. The dark blue suit which I know for a fact was specifically modified to fit his frame made him look more dashing than he already is. His boyish charm and charisma oozed over and through the walls of my bedroom. His presence almost suffocating me. In the best ways possible.

 

“As much as WE all love your.... professional taste, you don’t look too bad, Pizza. “ he mused while tucking his hands inside his dark blue suit.

  
There was this one year when I had to lay off eating the junk that will trigger my infection and I couldn’t be more upset. For 8 months, I narrowly yet successfully avoided the food but Tom and Harrison wanting to bloody taunt the heck out of me, will bring a box of my favorite flavor once a month to try and goad me. I cried once out of pure annoyance, that they ended up giving me the last five slices -which I quickly devoured- out of guilt and pity.On that same night, we had to rush over to Morrisons to buy myself 4 gallons of Cranberry juice to try to lessen the mild pain I was having. We were hysterically laughing on the parking lot while they load it in Harrison’s car. Despite the twinges on my hip and having to go to the hospital two days later, that was one of the happiest nights on my life. Kind of regretting it afterwards when we finally saw how furious Gabby could get. Tom stuck with the nickname “Pizza” to commemorate that event. And as a comeuppance, we would all eat Jaffa cakes in his presence whenever his trainer puts him in a strict diet for an upcoming role. He didn’t cry but would always walk out cursing us.

  
He trotted over the carpet floor, his black socks peeking out at the hem of his fitted dress pants. He engulfed me in a long, warm hug. His arms were around my shoulders as he pressed his cheek to the side of my head. He smelt of rain and home. I allowed myself to melt in his embrace and kissed his cheek tenderly. I felt more than heard his exhaled sigh which made me wound my arms even tighter around his body.

  
“Welcome back Tommy. I missed your stupid face.”


	2. Friends?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Divided into Tom's and Your POV. I decided to just combine the whole event in one chapter so it's kinda long.

**Tom’s POV**

The lift to the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles took a surprisingly good one hour in spite of the the Saturday night traffic. My three best friends in the whole world comfortably sat on the leather seat across from me while they amiably bicker over Harrison’s phone. For the first 45 minutes of the ride, they have been checking out places where Gabby, Harrison’s girlfriend of two years, could celebrate her I-survived-another-year-in-medical-school. The four of our I-would-rather-stay-at-home asses prefer eating in, hanging out at the others’ flats and watching reruns instead of splashing out on the temptations of the city. We incessantly gen up on Google maps and sometimes ask our American friends for local hotspots. Besides, we don’t stay here that long unless we have to.

Harrison, who’s more like my fourth brother than a friend and assistant sat at the center of the group. He enlisted his opinions quite vivaciously and read aloud the review from the illuminated screen on his left hand. But my eyes remained glued to the woman on his left who was currently holding down Harrison’s wrist in order to steady his hand as she read and mouthed the words to herself. For a fleeting moment, my heart skipped a beat.

After almost three months of shooting films, pre and post productions overseas, I got to come back to California for final promotions. Which meant thousandths phone and video calls, hundredths of text messages and occasional scenery and food photographs of each city we had both been filming in. Though Harrison was with me the whole time, it was nerve-wrecking not to see another familiar face in between stressful and overwhelming situations. I could barely contain myself when we landed last night. 

_The second after the airline stewardess announced the passengers are allowed to turn on their electronics, I switched mine off of Airplane mode and immediately sent her a message that read:_

_Guess who’s back. :)_

_I clung to my phone and grabbed my backpack from the overhead cabin. I dialed her number and was about to press the Call icon when Harrison interposed in his as-a-matter-of-fact voice._

_“Mate, don’t call her.” His back to me as he reached for his stuff on the bin opposite mine._

_“Wasn’t gonna.” I lied, turned back around and quickly shoved my phone in the pocket of my hoodie._

_“Gab’s not answering my messages an hour before our flight, so they’re probably asleep now. “ He placed his carry on luggage down in front us. “You need to calm your pants. We’ll see them at 5 today.” He snickered, hitting me with his backpack just as he was about to sling it over his shoulder_.

My erratic heart was going wild with just the thought of finally seeing her. More so, upon seeing her in that dress. I, for one, don’t mind the outfits that make her look like she’s going to a board meeting instead of formal evening ball gowns that fit the occasion. She always look stunning in everything. She had also re-worn two or three items of clothing during numerous awarding shows. Her stylist, almost quit out of frustration.

She doesn’t like being showered by expensive gifts. Most luxurious items that were being delivered to her, she gave them up to charities an auctions. Fan gifts and souvenirs took a whole shelf in her flat. “The small and simple things we do for people are what matters the most, Tom.” She advised.

My mind drifted back to the months after I landed in Physical therapy for almost a year. She, with all her benevolent, un-judging nature and her daily bible verses of encouragement, got me through the months I thought I could never dance the same way again. I started to attend church with her every Sunday together with our families back in England. We still do it here in LA, purposefully cleaning our schedules every week to go to church. And here I thought I couldn’t adore her even more.

 “The Edison it is!! Gabby’s sudden exclamation snapped me out of my reverie. “What do you think Holland?” It  took me a half a second to recover.  Three pairs of excited eyes waiting for my answer.

“Yeah, yeah! I'm in! I'm in! Course I'm in! Definitely!.... Er.. right Harrison? I mentally racked my mind on my changing schedule next month.

“Yeah, yeah. I wouldn’t let you work on my girlfriend’s party, now would I? if you’re there then I have to be there. You’re free to go go.” His mocking expression did missed preoccupation merely seconds ago. Bastard.

The driver pulled up 15 minutes later. I regarded the horde of people’s cries as it  echoed in my ears. They were waving what looked like movie posters, photographs, shirt and every other item we could sign our pens with. The camera crew and reporters adjusted their own pieces of equipment. The chest-high steel bars barred the overzealous populace from the pristine red carpet. Then they started yelling out our names and I couldn’t help but feel humbled knowing these strangers, by some reason, support me. The butterflies resurfaced again on my stomach.

“You ready my little Jaffa cake?” the glorious creature who I didn’t notice had resumed her seat beside me, dazzled me her loving yet nervous smile.  I stumbled over myself for a second.

“We’re gonna be right behind you, superstars. “ I looked over Gabby, who is clad in a less fancier ensemble, a green dress but beautiful all the same. Purse on one hand and one held Harrison’s.

“Let’s do this. “

The chauffeur opened my side of the door and I stepped out a little farther from the vehicle to give her space while she fumbled inside the car to fix her dress. All at once, camera flashes and screams went off at once. Kind of like a rebellious thunder tearing through the solace night sky. I beamed and raised my hand to the deafening crowd.

 _And here arrives two of the most nominated stars of the evening._ _There’s a rumour that Tom Holland would be receiving the most prestigious award of the night.  I don't know, but we cannot wait to find out!"_

“I got you.” I offered my right hand to lady who is starting to get out of the car. Clean, soft and warm ones clasped my own. She arranged her damn of a dress behind her and looked up to me with her timid and nervous eyes. Her needless and budding insecurity creeping up behind the depths of them. I’ve seen that look a thousand times. The more adulation she got, the more she wants to hide herself. It’s why she’s a bit preserved in attending her own movie premieres and award shows. You would think, that after a list of outstanding performances  under her belt, she’s still uncertain about herself. She revealed that although she’s entirely devoted to our profession, she doesn’t want to be a meat for the society’s prying eyes. _“Fame is just a side dish of the thing I love doing the most. “_ she admitted one night while we’re all having dinner.

Before she could even bother asking me, I beat her to it. Leaning in to her right ear and still holding her hand, I said the only running coherent truth in my mind,

“You look perfect, don’t even ask me about it, Pizza. “

I told her for the umpteenth time.  And I swear I would repeat it thousand more if it means that I get to see her grateful and iridescent smile that could put all the stars in the galaxy and all these expensive camera flashes a run for their own money.

 

* * *

 

**YOUR POV**

I lost sight of Tom after minutes of posing together for the avid photographers and tv reporters. I stood at the center of it all, feeling a slight hint of awkwardness now that Tom’s not beside me, saying jokes in my ear. Gabby and my management  team kept a good distance away from either side. The occasional admirable clamor and orders for the other celebrities not lost on me and I cannot shake the feeling that artists on the carper resembles zoo exhibits protected by the glass as spectators impatiently begged for movement.  

“Over here! Over here!”

“Looking great!”

“Smile for us!”

“Wave over here!”

Stella, my  brilliant agent for years smiled and held her hand up to the crazy crowd and lured me away.

“ET wanted to talk for a bit. We have them right here.” She pointed to a redhead woman whose pink dress was discernible from the blacks and whites.

“You. Look. Amazing! “ she enunciated.. I recalled her from numerous red carpet events.

“Oh thank you. No, You look amazing Sarah! I love your dress!” I answered just as enthusiastically.

“So is this a new look, you’re just tryin on or we’re gonna be seeing more of you like this?’ pushing the microphone under me.

“Maybe. My stylist, she uh, complained and pouted that I don’t learn anything from her. So yeah, I'm  gonna try it her way now"

“I’m sure she’s very proud. But we missed you at the gala! What have you been up to?”

“I know! I know! I’m sorry! But um, my dog’s feeling a little icky lately, so um, yeah, I gotta take care of him. “ I answered truthfully. My mind flashed back to my dog’s soporific state on the floor when we left the flat.

“Aw. I hope he’s doing well now.” I sensed her authentic concern and I thanked her for it and continued the conversation.

“But um, my friends said it was a knock out. I would like to congratulate all the winners. I’ve seen all those films and they completely blew my mind. Completely.“ Slicing my flattened hand against the air as I emphasized the last word.

“Speaking of friends, there was a certain somebody here not a moment ago...” She said eagerly.

“Oh boy, here we go..... What’d he say this time? She laughed and I chuckled nervously, to at least try to hide the impending nervousness whenever Tom is inserted into the discussion.

Over the years of my close relationship with him, it sparked an enormous amount of curiosity from the people around us. I can’t tell you how many articles I’ve read wherein we were secretly married or engaged. Tabloid stories about the definition of our relationship and nonexistent scenarios and conversation. They even coined us as the Dipcario and Winslet of the millennial age. My social media accounts have always been tagged in over a thousand candid photos of us laughing or chasing each other down the street, here in the States and our home, back in England. I cannot not be interviewed without mentioning him for a bit  and vice versa. And we answer them with complete veraciousness. We’re really great friends. Like peas in a pod, like fish and chips, like steak with red wine. We complement each other. “Great friends who people incessantly insist to have great chemistry, I haven’t really ruminate on it,I guess” I answered in one of the magazine interviews I had . Nevertheless, he’s one of the best people that I’ve ever known and one of the few whom I will trust with my life. They could come up with atrocious rumors all they want and we’ll just laugh it up and argued which one is worst at the end of the day.

“All good things all good things.... No, I asked him what he’s most excited about tonight..” I gently nodded for her to continue and kept the apprehensive smile on my face. “ He said and I’m quoting here.... that he’s excited for you to win all your nominations tonight...and for you to get up on that stage because..”

“Aww Tommy. “

“.........because he knows how you hate giving out public speeches. Is that true?” Sarah finished. Her sun-kissed face sparked with mirth.

“What! Ugh!” I rolled my eyes playfully. “ Now, where’s that.. I can say.. wanker..wanker.. can’t I? Ok. Where’s that wanker?!” My head swirled around the pandemonium of the press and actors on the carpet, trying in vain to get a glimpse of the person whom I wanted to step my sharp stilettos on.

Sarah and the cameraman laughed at my antics. “I didn’t believe him one bit, I mean, you were great at the Globes!”

I laughed wholeheartedly. “Yeah. That was the first time I didn’t feel like fainting or blundering my thank you speech. So thank you, thank you. “

“Yeah, you were fantastic!” she praised. I noticed the reappearance of my smiling agent  on my side. As if to say, wrap it up. Sarah must have too.

“Thank you Sarah. That’s very thoughtful of you. So great seeing you again. “

“You too! You too!” I kissed her cheek before Stella lead me to the next line up of reporters.

 

* * *

 

**Tom’s POV**

Harrison guided me towards an awaiting group of male reporters near the entrance of the auditorium. The last ones before we enter the hall. The one holding the hand held microphone looks familiar. I think he’s the chap on that show that the girls watch all the time. The mornings after we crashed their place and fell asleep on the couch (Well, just me. Harrison sleeps with this girlfriend).

“Hi Tom!”

“Hello, I don’t think we’ve met before. But is it Daniel?” I extended my hand to the middle-aged reporter dressed in a spotless black suit.

“It’s close. I’m Daryll.” He chuckled as he gripped my hand firmly.

“My bad, Daryll, so nice to meet you. “

“Nice to meet you too man. “

“It’s funny because uh, I know you from that show that my friends watch in the mornings while I brew their morning cuppa. “

Daryll laughed. “Really? They do? Wait, you brew their teas?”

“Yeah, sometimes. You can’t make them do anything besides watch you. I think they fancy you. So thanks a lot mate.“ I joked and patted the man’s shoulder as he chuckled.

“Now, well,  I’m very flattered, tell them I said hi.” 

“You know what, both of them are here actually. I came with them.” I looked over my back to hopefully catch a glimpse of the girls but Harrison, in his maroon dress shirt and black pants was all i got.

 “Yeah, we saw you and your girl back there. Quite the couple.” He jeered, raising his eyebrows suspiciously.

It’s my turn to let out a lengthy laugh and folded my arms in front of me in a nervous body language.  And as if on cue,

“What are you yapping about?” came a familiar voice that travelled from my right ear to the twisting gut on my stomach and then cuing the episodic stampede on my chest whenever she’s within reach. My body autonomously began inclining towards her direction as the last of my laughs subsided on my throat. We locked eyes for a second. Behind her, I saw Harrison trying to hide a snicker by covering his lips with a closed fist and clearing his throat. The spell was broken. Regaining my composure, I pointed to the man interviewing me.

“Hiya! It’s your crush from the telly!!” her eyes widened a bit out of embarrassment. She acknowledged Daryll and the crew behind him who stood there with ridiculous smirks. She reached out a hand to the man.

“Hi Daryll, pleasure meeting you. We love your show.” She tried to recompose her self but I still saw  the blood rushing on of her cheeks.

“As I am, as I am. It’s an honor. Thank you. ”

After extracting her hand from Daryll’s grip, she pinched me lightly on my right hip which elicited a yelp from me. She flashed me a wicked grin before walking to the open doors of the auditorium. Her left hand holding up the excess fabric of her dress. She said something about Gabby to Harrison on her way in and the latter nodded and smiled.

“He said that you’re my girl by the way.” I called back to her moving figure with my right hand on the side of my mouth. Not expecting a response, I turned my body in front of the press but then  we heard a “Heck yeah, I am!” from the doorway. We all turned our heads toward the sound of her voice. She had  peeked her tiny head on the side of the door and then hastily added  “And his dog of course!” before disappearing with a satisfying grin. The group of people who heard her emitted a hearty laugh.

“Yup. Her and my dog. There you go.”  I shrugged and cackled approvingly.

“I wont’ hold you any minute longer so you can get back to your lady. I asked the people on Twitter, what do they want to learn about Tom Holland tonight. The winning question in the poll was.. “ he trailed off as he clicked the screen of his phone.

“Great, let’s hear it. “ Fans could be a little wild with their questions. I sure hope this wasn’t. Daryll showed me his phone and he read

“What’s the song that you can’t get out of your head right now?”

I chuckled with an amused and nervous relief.

“For a minute there I thought they’re gonna ask what color my boxers are.. ”

“Fans could be a little enthusiastic sometimes, couldn’t they Tom?” Daryll chuckled, nodding.

I nodded “Yeah yeah. But um, that’s a great question by the way. Thank you! “ facing the camera.

“Um, song,  I cant get out of my head..uh blimey... You’re beautiful by James Blunt. Classic.” I answered, reminiscing the enticing laugh of a certain woman in cream-colored satin dress.

* * *

 

**Your POV**

They showed a five-minute montage of Tom’s acting career over the years. Tons of scenes earned laughter, some scenes of him showing his chiseled body gained wolf whistles but most commence laud applause from the enraptured audience.

Tom Holland had come this far. Not ages ago was he bedridden for almost 3 months due to a car crash. His legs were impacted the most. I remember how utterly gutted he was, staring off the distance, tears silently falling on his cheeks and sniffs when he thought I didn’t notice. He was more terrified that he won’t be able to dance the same way again rather than learn how to walk. Me, Harrison and Gabby and our families never left his side during those moments and it made our friendships more resilient.

The dimmed lights resumed their splendor on the entire theater when it finished. Then, series of spotlight focused on the figure waddling on the left stage, under one of the three gargantuan projection screens. The crowd’s sonorous laughter and cheers reverberated in my already ringing ears. He continued his swagger of a walk along the iridescent surface of the stage. Although his hands were the only exposed part of his body, Kevin Hart’s figure undoubtedly recognizable underneath his knock off Spiderman costume. Bright red and blue web-by jumpsuit with boots and all.

The two screens on stage focused on Tom clutching his stomach as he roared with laughter on his seat. To his right, Harrison was leaning all the way back on his seat and was clapping so hard resembling a trained seal. The audience was not oblivious as well to the funny man onstage, as they also howled in uncontrollable gaiety.

When Kevin reached the center of the platform, he removed his mask with an exclamation of enthusiasm. “Whoo! This is hot! I mean I’m sweatin’ over here...” But I can’t tell you how good this makes me feel. So good. “ Holding up his Spiderman mask and fanning himself with the other.

“I could wear this all day! You know, when they told me that I’m gonna have to wear a costume for this part, your homeboy was excited. He was flippin!” he poised his body as if to prepare for a back flip, but he didn’t.  

“But then they said, during the fitting, that I’m only gonna wear it for 3minutes before I introduce the final presenters.. I stared at them like... “Are you serious right now? I worked out for a month for this. Now you’re telling me that?” he continued in his high-pitched voice.

“So right after the break, I changed immediately. Now I got to wear it for 10 more minutes! How about that?!” He flexed his right bicep and pressed his fingers on the small bulge.

“But you know what, you know what, Imma take this home with me. I don’t care what y’all say. Imma sleep in this. You won’t see me at the after-party cause Imma run my ass out of this venue..  I already got my running shoes at the ready, they ready........” The hall continued to erupt in laughter.

 “And so, without further ado, Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my honor to welcome to the stage......Tobey freaking Maguire and Andrew bloody Garfield everybody!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

The auditorium’s shout and applause were earsplitting. Everyone stood up as both esteemed actors walked the stage. A matured and stately looking Tobey and Andrew walked towards the glass podium. Both men have aged graciously. A screen showed Tom standing up along with the mass, the camera, caught the “Ohhh” lingering on his face while he was being shook at the shoulders by an equally surprised Harrison. Tom’s hands covering his ajar mouth as he walked a few steps away and back to his aisle seat in disbelief.  The other LCDs showing the audience as we also held our hands over our mouths and clap above our heads like the geeks we were. It took a few more minutes before they appeased the frantic crowd.

“Well, I guess, this put all the rumors that we hate each other to end.” Andrew began, facing the crowd.

“Well, I sure hope so..We’re here to present and give this award to promising young British man who...”

“Wai, wa-wait, Me?” Andrew interrupted, bringing out giggles from our seats.

“No offense man, but I think we’re way past the “young” age. Tobey patted a comforting  hand on Andrew’s shoulder.

“Oh yeah, yeah. This one’s born in June.. right?” joked Andrew, slightly angling his body at Tobey.

“Now, hold the horses, I’m born in June, Andrew. “

“Well.. it’s not you too, but we have quite a few similarities with this guy. For one, we all played   teenagers being bitten by radioactive spiders  and also got to work alongside honorable and distinguished directors and crew who had nothing but praises, respect and adoration for this man. .. But  he was the only one lucky enough to hang out with the Avengers” The volatile direction of his spiel had seemed to silence the audience.

“He also used his spare time and efforts to help numerous charities, children hospitals and co-funded two PT clinics in the States and London... A real superhero. “ Added Tobey. My eyes averted to where Tom sat with Harrison, five rows  ahead of me and Gabby.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, let’s give it up for our brother, Tom Holland!” the two stars chorused.

I was one of the thousands of people to stand up and belaud him as he, almost shyly, stood up and unbutton his jacket. Out of the hundreds of people yelling out his name, he seemingly caught mine. My glistening eyes lock downed with him, I gave him a two thumbs up before resuming clapping.

Instead of walking up to the stage, he jogged to where me and Gabby were sitting. Picking up on what he intends to do, I try to save him the time by excusing myself from Zoey Deutch and Aubrey Plaza who I could hear say “Go get him girl.”

I met him in the aisle and collided with his body in a quick but tight embrace, both of us giggling, his arms steadily wrapped around my waist. I could feel the tremble of his heart over mine as it drowned out the rip-roaring uproars of the audience. I cradled his head before I let him go. He gave me his boyish saccharine smile and ran up the stage. I stayed on the spot until he hugged both and fellow Spider-men. His height barely passing Tobey’s which I would gladly point out to him later.

The room quieted down when he drew near the mic on the glass podium.

“Wow. My mind blanked for a bit. I mean..” he turned his body sideways and bowed his head and hands to where Tobey and Andrew stood, smiling. The crowd’s dumbfounded cheers erupted again. “I'm still gonna be dreaming about this..” He glanced down then his award and then acknowledged the house.

“Ok, um. I'm gonna go straight ahead. There are three kinds of people you only need in your life. One..” he showed up his thumb. “People who tirelessly motivate  you to be the best version of yourself. I am exceedingly grateful for my acting coaches, my directors, the team of people behind these productions, my fellow actors and my amazing, amazing fans. You guys are the reason why I continue to love what I do. You guys opened my eyes to new challenges everyday, no words could ever suffice for the lessons, the love and gratitude you’ve shown me . So from the bottom of my heart, thank you.” putting his hands to the left side of his chest..

“Second...” he raised his pointer along with his thumb, spelling out L-fingers. “People who listen and support you... Being in the business for quite a while had made me question myself at one point. There came a time when I wouldn’t accept projects and deliberately screw up auditions just because I was confused with myself. And the people who reminded me that this was all worth it are my family and friends. They reminded me of the passion I had when I was just starting, they reminded me about the times I used to not sleep until I practiced and perfected all my lines, they reminded me that there are still people who loves me for what I am and not what the media had manipulated me to be. I love you guys so, so ardently and thank you for believing in me and getting me back up on my feet. Without you guys, I wouldn’t be here.”

My whole body was shaking and overflowing with pride. I curled my fingers  onto my lips and chin to muffle a gasp of admiration. “ And third and lastly..” holding up three digits in the air above him.

“You need people who will make you believe that there is still a God. “ Amidst the engrossed eyes of the standing audience, he ensnared mine anew. Never faltering away throughout the continuation of his acceptance speech.

“I’ve been broken and beaten down literally and figuratively as you all may know. I couldn’t find an inch of silver lining. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through my whole life. Luckily I found people who not only keeps my feet planted firmly on the ground and kicks my ass when I’m being a jerk but most importantly, helped me grow spiritually. I became a new man after finally acknowledging what God did for me, what He did for all of us. In your darkest times, remember that you are not alone. Seek and you will find. Prayers work and never disappoints, trust me. And to this person who helped me, please know that you’re my miracle.” The world must have stopped when offered me his heartfelt smile and eyes amongst the loud crowd.

“Find these kinds of people and you win life by default. And if you do have them already, Thank them whenever you possibly can..... God bless us everybody and thank you for this moment. Thank you so much. “ He finished. The room detonated with thunderous acclamation for the man on stage. He held the award on his hand and raised it high in the air. An abrupt penchant to kiss him soundly invaded my clouded mind. I stifled audibly. I certainly did not just think _that_.

Kevin Hart reappeared on stage, still in his Spiderman costume. Running to where Tom stood, he hugged him and threw his arms around Tom, Tobey and Andrew. He faced the standing ovation of the audience and exclaimed.

“All hail for Tom Holland everybody! Damn! And give it up again for Tobey and Andrew! Three Spidermen onstage, we made history brothers!”

The whole house was on their feet, clapping raucously as the night finally drew to a close.

“Thank you for tonight. We’re all gonna remember this moment. Have a good night!”  Kevin commenced.

* * *

 


	3. Build Up

**YOUR POV**

I’ve been friends with Gabrielle ever since I could remember. My early childhood pictures were not complete without her in it . She was also with me during the funeral of my grandfather. I remember how her small chubby  hands tightly meshed with mine as they lower down his coffin. Even at such a young age, she was intuitive, benevolent and selfless. Whenever I fell down and scratched my knee, she will rub my back to soothe me until our moms came hand in hand with the first aid kit.  Those were the very reasons I knew why she’s gonna be a brilliant doctor. We remained in contact even after I migrated to London with my parents..

WhenI got my big break for a movie project, we celebrated together all night, just the two of us, drinking red wine straight from the bottle on her rented spacious one-bedroom studio. When I mentioned to her that I’ll be coming in the States from time to time to fulfill a handful of job offers, she was over the moon, and so am I. She drove me on my US auditions, lingered in the waiting room until I was finished for day . That’s where she met Harrison and Tom who I’ve been friends with already.

Living alone in an almost foreign soil, even just for a few months, made me miss my England even more. Hotel rooms weren’t envisaging homeliness. Back then, Gabby’s still living an hour away from me, a moderate distance from where she’s finishing her studies. After 6 months however, she was designated here in the city for her residency. I begged her to stay with me since we’re practically in each other’s presence whenever none of us were occupied. She happily settled on the spare ample space beneath my bedroom and was in charge when I’ll be flying back home to St. James’

When I earned enough money for a semi-permanent place here in LA, we roamed the city by ourselves. The need to prove myself  that I could do one adult thing in my life simmered intently on my bones. I good-heartedly declined offers, no special treatments from anyone on my team which they respected . She, who without doubt, the more “grown up” one between the two of us, would take a step in front of me whenever she felt like agents, realtors and sellers were being greedy and pushy.. I was gullible to such sly advancements, therefore on the third day, Gabby insisted that I should just let her negotiate since she knew how Americans think nowadays and I’m basically an alien.  Therefore, under the blistering Californian sun, Gabby and I wandered and ended up on an empty yet maintained and recently sold loft in this part of the city.  

The apartment’s high ceiling drew the illusion of expansiveness. Her mom being an owner of an Interior Design firm in San Diego, arranged the place to complement our boho chic and industrial design preference. The kitchen, with its wooden paneled cabinets and marble countertop  contrasted with the interior’s  black hardwood floors. The 360view of the city windows allowed natural light to seep through the crack in the grey curtains and when the night time comes, we could properly see the vibrant spectacles of the city.  The formerly study area was converted as Gabby’s room and the loft bedroom with black-framed floor to ceiling glass walls remained as my room. The stark white and soundproof walls proved to be more useful especially to the foul noises coming from the living room.

“Die, Die! Die! You bastard!” I stood up, shouted aggressively as I pressed my fingers harder on the console with obvious determination.

“Ohh! Such profanity! You kiss your mum with that mouth?” Tom retorted back below me, his ambidextrous fingers made hurried clicking noises with his as well. He’s leaning his elbows on his denim-covered knees, both of us transfixed on the television and the joysticks in between our resolute hands.

“Oh, piss off!” I responded pointedly, resuming my seat beside him.

It’s not unusual for Tom and Harrison  to be here early in the morning. Our days wasted away like this every single time we’re not working. They’ll  show up a minute after 8 am and sometimes with a sprightly Tessa. On a number of circumstances, when either men are too exhausted and drowsy to drive  we just let them crash in the couch. Tom at least. Below him would be Tessa on the extra dog bed I purchased just for her. Most times, my dog betrayed me and joined them downstairs, not wanting to part with his playmates.

Therefore, on this  humid Sunday morning, two weeks since the awards night, we’re indulging in  a video game he just bought, a game we’ve both been dying to get. I lost track of the time after Tom’s second win. I don’t usually mind losing, but with him, it’s  a whole different story.

Unbeknownst to the unlocking sound of the entrance door, we sat on the edge of our seats occasionally throwing in congenial insults to each other, someone entered the premise. An ineffable thing you learn when you live with someone, you can actually tell when they arrived by the sound of their footsteps or by the sound of their sighs when they breathe. A set of keys jangled into the plate that says “Keys” on the foyer table. Both our dogs, who were resting underneath the coffee table at the center of the room, rushed to the door. Four greeting barks.

Gabby entered with both her hands bearing two brown grocery bags and lightly slammed the door with her foot. I couldn’t see her but that’s what I was imagining her doing.  

“Hey guys!” we could hear her shout breathily  from the kitchen. “Hey doggos! You want cookies?”

Tom and I answered with an absentminded “Hey!” Our laser focused attention not wavering off from the game.

“There’s a minor collision five streets away, that’s why we took a little longer than usual.” I heard her opened  the jar of cookies for the dogs then cans and bags of chips hit the marbled countertop of our kitchen.

“Uh-huh.” I said lazily, biting my lip as I try to come up with a strategy to my game.

“Where’s Harrison?” Tom slightly turned his body towards her voice, his eyes remained in front.  Her response drifted off as I saw Tom’s team finally found my troop’s headquarters, guns and bombs on hand. 

“Why do you  make it so easy? Might as well give me that 50 right now.” I could hear the complacence in his voice. He slanted his body as he stirred his avatar’s car to the left and get out of it.

“You wish, Holland.”

“.... Speaking of which, you guys better be rea........ oh cmon!” Gabby continued. I heard the soft patters of her socked feet against the unblemished hardwood floors to where Tom and I were currently and comfortably lounging. A bowl of half-finished dry cheerios and four empty cans of juice on the wooden coffee table. The dogs had resumed their last position all the while staring at Gabby, waiting for another set of cookies.

“Really? For four hours now?” she breathed incredulously. Her arms folded impatiently on her chest.  I could feel the deathly glares on the back of our heads, I can’t risk confirming it by looking back. Tom’s avatar was circling back around the curb, right where I want him. I pressed a few buttons as I choose my killing weapon.

“You even haven’t taken a bath yet!!!” Her remark barely passing my ears as I quickly press the buttons of the joystick. She rounded from our backs to get a good look at our impaled positions on the sofa... or for us to take her disapproving annoyance.

“ I already did! Leave me alone!” Tom sounded like a teenager scolded by his mom for not cleaning his room. He was dressed effortlessly in his plain black shirt, jeans and his dark sneakers by the door, the curls on his head untamed.

“I’m not talking to you, idiot.” I could feel the penetrating and accusatory daggers she’s sending my way..

“C’mon guys, the program is in--- she glanced down at her watch—two hours. We have to drive there for an hour. Who knows if it’s gonna be totally jammed right now.” She demanded and stood by the accent chairs on our right side. Gabby doesn’t like being late.

As a favour to Harrison, Tom and I had agreed to join both of them in Gabby’s  hospitals’ feeding program, where she is currently a third year resident. Although her hospital’s a few blocks from here, the program will take place on the outskirts of the city, right where impoverished  US citizens are deprived. They needed extra pairs of volunteering hands as it was said to be a big annual event. Harrison popped the question while we’re all having dinner, because, even through the years of our friendship, he and Gabby were reluctant to take advantage of their status with that being close friends with Tom and I. They never asked us for help with anything hence, Tom and I were absolutely delighted to oblige.

“5 minutes, Gabs.” I promised half- heartedly, getting excited to rub  my brewing win to Tom’s smug face. “Besides I could get ready in like... ten minutes.” I  confidently reasoned back, still not looking her way. She exhaled and strode in front of us, blocking our view from the television mounted on the wall, her diminutive hands on her hips. Tom and I moved our heads synchronously on either side of her to watch the penultimate team battle with which we’re both engaged in.

“Look, thank you so much for doing this thing with me, and I love you both even more for it, but you’ve been playing since this morning.” She’s eyeing me heavily. Gabby did sound reasonable. As always. I hate it sometimes.

Tom’s persistent hands on his console receded, letting Gabby’s words sink in. His  attention affected from Gabby’s reason. With a gruff, “Tell me again, why am I going.” We stretched our necks, trying to find a better angle from Gabby’s impeding and unwavering authoritative stance in front.

“....Because you’re a good human being and you’re eternally grateful for Gabby’s existence and her relationship with your best mate that ended all those gay rumours a few years ago?” I stated in monotonous voice.

“On point.” Without taking our eyes off of the screen and for a second of truce, he raised his right hand to give me a high five, I struck it with my left.

We heard another commotion by the door and the dogs, once again, addressed the newcomer.

“Don’t tell me you idiots are still playing, we have to leave in 15 minutes! And it’s been two hours since we left!” Harrison reprimanded softly  and stopped at the back of the couch.. He then leaned  his elbows on the cushion behind and in between Tom and I. He too, tries to get a decent view of the LCD.

 “So..who’s winning?” he excitedly added. If Gabby is the austere mom, Harrison is the fun dad, whereas Tom and I are the juvenile delinquents. I smiled despite myself, inching my way to the right end of the sofa, Tom doing the same thing on his left.

“Harrison!” Gabby all but shrieked at Harrison who chuckled.

“Right, right. Sorry babe.” He cleared his throat and I saw Gabby nod before Harrison walked out of the room.  Or so I thought.

“I’m coming for you Holla---hey! Hey! What are you doing!”

In a flush of movements, Harrison’s tall stature was in front of me, his forearms going under my leggings as he hauled me over his right shoulder like a sack of flour. Earning an adamant and incredulous protest from me.I saw  Tom’s right hand halted on his controller, his hands splayed out for a second of discombobulation as to why his opponent’s avatar suddenly stopped firing in the middle of the game, and then he noticed the hilarity of my position on his bestfriend’s shoulder. Instantly, he grabbed his phone on the carpeted floor of the living room, joystick laid on the table.

“Hey! Put me down jerk!! Harrison! Put me down this instant!” I ejaculated, pouncing on his broad back in futile attempts. He walked over and gave a peck to a smiling and proud Gabby. ‘Thanks babe.”

I groaned. “Tom! Help me!” Harrison gripped my shins together to stop me from squirming.  I cried out from my mortifying situation to Tom who completely abandoned the game I was wining. He positioned himself into a more comfortable way on the sofa, one of his foot under thigh and in both of his hands, his camera phone shook with laughter. My dog stood, confused and followed  Harrison’s shoulder. He placed his two front paws on Harrison’s back, making sure I wasn’t in trouble of any kind then back down on all fours again. Gabby stepped behind him, giving my dog a loving pat on the head. 

The phone on Tom’s hand followed our movements as Harrison started to move away to literally drag my ass up to, I presume, Gabby and mine’s shared bathroom across to the kitchen.

“Sorry mate, he’s a.. um... a bit tall!” his hand tried to hold his phone while he continues to howl and shake in laughter. I slumped and pressed down my reddening face on Harrison’s back, defeated.

“This is absurd, you’re dead Harrison! You all are! I’m gonna kick you once I’m down from here. “ I looked up from Harrison’s Latissimus Dorsi  to threaten Tom and Gabby who were now practically skipping very much alike Snow White’s seven dwarves.

“Oh, wow, you really can be feisty. A few more minutes into that game and you’ll be saying the F word. “ I felt Harrison’s amused laugh from behind his nape which I’m currently glaring at.

“Told yah!” Tom interjected, chuckling before putting down his phone and barging in the kitchen.

Harrison dropped me with ease outside the bathroom door. He gave me an apologizing yet humorous smirk. I scowled at him.

“Hey! I’m just doing what she told me to!” He argued, his palms in mock surrender.

“Nah, you’re just a sap when it comes to my bestfriend. “ I replied with a chuckle as He took two steps into the open kitchen to resume helping Gabby who was already unpacking the rest of the items on our countertop, her back to us.

“And proud to be......not very unlike yourself. “He jokingly winked back at me, the last part barely a whisper. His head turned back to where Tom was pand my eyes took a cautious glimpse as he lingered by the opened fridge, humming to himself while he looked for a lunch snack, too concentrated on the task at hand to hear us. Our dogs, on their tails behind him. Harrison’s smile couldn’t get any nastier when he followed my eyes.. He reached out and ruffled my hair like an annoying big brother would.  I swatted his hand away. Gabby turned around at the sound of my groan, oblivious to me and her boyfriend’s silent exchange.

“What are you still standing there for? “ she asked rhetorically. With this, Tom looked at our direction and regarded us with a suspicious look, two greek yogurts on his hands.

“Your robe’s already inside. 10 minutes.” Gabby pointed to the bathroom subsequently unloading the last items inside the brown bag and stacking them into the customized Pantry cabinet under the staircase.

“Urgh. Yes Mum.” With a roll my eyes, I dragged my feet and closed the door behind an amused Harrison and bossy Gabby, and hungry Tom.

I put my hand under the running shower, testing the temperature first before going under. Not long did the rapid stream of lukewarm water drowned out the voices from the other side of the room and I was made aware of my solitude.

The past weeks regressed  to our normal mundane routine. Everyone has work for a few more weeks, til we fly back home to England with the exception of Gabby. Tom, Harrison and I hang out during the day, if we’re all unoccupied, doing chores or anything to keep ourselves amused.  Gabby will join us later in the afternoon or early in the evening, depending on her shift.

My mind drifted back to the brunet on the other side of the wall. He must be halfway through his-my- greek yogurt by now.

I caught the upward motion of my lips as I recall the ease that re-settled over us after the revel weeks ago.

 

> _I nervously threaded my fingers through my hair as Gabby and I sauntered to where Tom was animatedly chatting with Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield backstage. His team including Harrison was already there. Gabby gave me a sideway smirk. “What?”_
> 
> _Tobey and Andrew gave Tom one-armed hug as they said their goodbyes. When both gentlemen were out of sight, Gabby pulled Tom’s head under and between her armpits and messed his hair. “How dare you make me cry Holland!” Instinctively, Harrison caught the carved bronze sculpture that Tom is giving him. Gabby’s headlock never loosened . He could easily remove himself from the situation yet chosen not to._
> 
> _When she let him go, Tom stretched his suit. “Crybaby.” He sneered at Gabby who poked out her tongue on him. Tom stepped into my open arms as I engulfed him in another congratulatory hug again._
> 
> _“Was I ok?” he whispered against my naked shoulder, the contact made tiny tsunamis on my stomach._
> 
> _Still within his embrace, “You were more than that.” I breathed to his ear. Then in a nescient and brazen move, I pressed a long kiss to the chiseled cheek I could reach._

I switched off the shower’s knob and coiled my hair in the towel I used for drying myself. I put my robe on and wiped the fog that clouded the mirror. I stared at my mouth as I recite the following words:

 _Tom and I are good friends. Just that. I don’t need to overthink it.  Stop overthinking it, alright?!_ ” My reflection nodded and smiled.

Albeit, in the deepest and unexplored corner of my mind, a prisoner impatiently and furiously banged on the metal bars holding her captive.

The jazz music loomed over the ubiquitous speakers of the entire flat. The boys were in the kitchen, leaning on the countertop, heels crossed with each other. Their reflex turned to the opening creaks of the bathroom door; Harrison’s spoon and Tom’s doughnut halfway to their mouths. Tom immediately turned his back the other way while Harrison, nonchalantly looked down and continued to eat his food. Head bobbing in tune with the music. Tom elbowed him and he protested a “Bruv?” yogurt still on his tongue.

The dogs chased me as I ran up to my room, thinking I was in a gaming mood. I dressed myself in a button down long sleeves and tucked it in my best fitted jeans. I grabbed the small backpack on the floor before barging down the stairs. I’m anew and ready to go.

“I kept my word, 10 minutes!” Two men looked up from their phones for a minute and muttered a small and deadpanned “Yey!” I jogged down the stairs with two dogs right behind me. Gabby was nowhere in sight. I plopped down on the three-seater-couch beside Tom who was reading something on his phone. His dog nudged her head on his knees and took a seat beside his feet. She lie down on her back as his human started rubbing his socked feet on her warm belly. Though his face remained in a determined concentration, he clasped his free hand on my ankle when I pulled it up over his thighs naturally.

My flatmate must have cleaned the table while I was in the bath. Everything was in orderly fashion again like some page from an Interior Design magazine. The decorative vignettes that I removed on the table while I was playing with Tom was reinstated. Which made me look for the video game console strewn  under the 64 inches television.

“Oi! Where did our game go?” I exhorted at the two men beside me.

“Gabby confiscated them and locked it in her room. Apparently, she can’t trust me and Tom with it.” Harrison supplied, dropping his phone on the coffee table. “Which reminds me... I need a favour from you. Both of you.”  He uttered in an undertone.  

With this, Me and Tom edged our bodies closer to where Harrison was sitting but Tom still holding on to both my feet. 

“I don’t wanna kick you out of your own house mate, but um.. Can me and Gabby have this place for tonight? She doesn’t know but I planned something for her.” He confessed in a timid voice that I can’t help but smile.

“What? What did you plan to do?” Tom queried, excitement in his tone.

“Git! Don’t ask that! Don’t tell us!” I lightly smacked Tom’s head and frowned at him.

“Why do you always assume that I’m gonna do something promiscuous?” Glaring at Tom’s sheepish grin.

“Well, aren’t you gonna? “ we both raised our eyebrows at him.

“No! Well, yeah maybe....I got her a necklace, that’s all. And I planned to cook for her tonight. “ Harrison explained bashfully.

“What’s wrong with our place?” Tom chided, sounding butt-hurt

“Well, do we have a perfectly functioning oven?” Harrison accused

“Um.. no..” Tom grumbled.

“Do we have, I don’t know romantic high ceilings?” Harrison gestured dramatically over the modern drop lights above our 4-seater dining table.

“Well, no.”

“Is our flat clean?”

“Absolutely not.” Tom jested, Harrison’s facts dawning on him.

“Harrison, I got you. Let me grab an overnight bag.” I winked at him, stood up and shuffled his blonde hair.

“Thank you!!! You can sleep in my room.”  He smiled up at me.

I was rounding the dining table when I heard Tom complained,

“Uh no way man, We don’t know what kinds of shit are in your room. She’ll sleep in mine and I’ll sleep in yours.” Tom disclosed, laying his entire body on the spot I just vacated.  Harrison threw a nearby pillow on his face.

I packed lightly, just a two sets of clothes for later when I shower and for tomorrow. Gabby reemerged for her room, wearing a plain white deep v-neck shirt, jeans and ankle boots.

“What are you doing with an overnight bag?” She asked, noticing the duffle bag on my shoulder. Before I could lie,

“We’ll continue our game at me and Harrison’s place tonight.” Tom shuffled from the hall, wiping his hands with the dish towel and I could see the dogs bent over two food bowls in the kitchen.

“Why can’t you do it here?”

“Because, _you’re_ gonna be here. We can’t concentrate if you’re just gonna peek out and shout from  your room every now and then. And you have work tomorrow.” Tom shrugged.

“Good point.” Gabby frowned in agreement.

“Oh and I’m gonna bring my baby too. The vet said that I should keep an eye on him." That part was wholly true. I stretched an elbow on Tom’s shoulders and stared back at Gabby, acting natural as possible. Which is funny, considering Tom and I were such professional liars.

“Ok fine.  Guys, Listen up. This is the plan.” She clapped her hands, the action reminded me of a soccer coach about to give his students a pep talk before a big game.

“It’s 12:14, we have be at the tents by 2pm. We’re gonna load those boxes on the car, Harrison would drive. We’re gonna drop the dogs to your apartment, 10 blocks away, maybe it'll take just 10 minutes tops and off we go. Capisce?” she said in one breath.

“Maam, yes, maam!”


	4. Tensions

**YOUR POV**

 

The weather was quite magnificent to say the least. The afternoon sun neither too hellacious nor flaring as it normally was in Los Angeles. A light breeze tarried from time to time and the trees provided wide shades for the occasion. Outside the massive hospital grounds, on the sea of freshly mown grass, a giant tent and long picnic tables were set up. People were going in and out of the simultaneously, plateful of scrumptious hot food. 

At either side of me were a cheerful, apron-wearing Tom and Harrison. We were situated at the far end of the buffet table, serving the final queue of appreciative guests together with other hospital staff who volunteered to hand out food. Gabby was assisting with a tray of refreshments to the people on the picnic tables, a genuine smile plastered on her face. She’s in a skipping mood because we arrived 30 minutes earlier than the original plan. We won’t hear the end of it if we were just a minute late. She glanced back at the tent to wave at us.

“Bloody hell, she’s beautiful.” Harrison muttered under his breath, his hand frozen in the air, holding a pair of tongs. 

“You’re a whip, that’s what you are. “ Tom declared, all the while smiling and grabbing a spoonful of mashed potatoes for the person in line. 

I chuckled at the both of them and gave a mouthful of steamed vegetables to the old guy in flannel shirt and tattered jeans whom Tom just served. 

“Well, can you blame  me?... here enjoy.” Harrison said defensively then nodded and smiled to man who muttered a thank you. Next in queue was a lady probably in her 50’s dressed in pair of faded black tracksuit that it’s almost grey and ushering her was a young boy in baggy clothes about 8 years old. 

“Thank you so much children for doing this for us. This is the first hot meal we will have for a month.“ She said when she reached me, beaming sincerely at me and I felt my heart tugged.

“You know what Maam, you can go back as many times as you want, here, have some more mashed , I heard they’re excellent. “ Tom offered the lady three more spoonful, filling out the rest her plate and her grandson’s.

“Oh we’re happy to be here. Here you go Ma'am.... Hey love, what’s your name?” I leaned and wondered at the shy boy behind his grandmother. 

“I’m Thomas.” He mumbled and averted his eyes down. 

“No way! My name is Thomas.” Tom pointed to himself.

“Ey! He’s also named Thomas.” Harrison and I exclaimed together.

Tom grinned and gave the next person in queue her share of food, but his attention remained on the boy. The Young boy’s  grandmother’s waited patiently for his grandson, her hands on the boy’s back. My eyes connected with the boy’s innocent ones again.

“Why are you so pretty.” He blurted out, before down casting his eyes again. T four of us chuckled jovially at what sounded like an gullible confession.

“I know right! How dare she!” Tom jeered, his right hand hovered at me with his sticky wooden spoon. The next one in line watched our exchanges with a curious smile. 

“Thank you Thomas.” I beamed at the young boy who beamed right back and left with his grandmum.  

“I feel really bad that we’re not allowed to do this everyday.... Hiya how are we doing today?” Tom said after a moment. Harrison and I nodded our heads in agreement all the while greeting and serving the train of people.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t my favorite leading lady?” A menacing voice gloated, making the three of us look up at the sound. Harrison’s chicken tongs halted for a moment in the air above the lady I was giving food to seconds ago. Even the lady was caught off guard by the sudden interruption from our small talk.

A man in sunglasses and in a light grey suit stopped on our opposite side of the table. 

“Mr. Lipman, what pleasure. “ I gritted through tense neck and shoulders. The man took off his aviators and hung it on the white dress shirt underneath his ironed suit. A bodacious sneer on his tanned face. 

Benjamin Lipman is one of Hollywood’s most noted producers. At 45, he had funded and consulted over a thousand movie productions that won numerous gold, silver and bronze statues. I  met him at a black tie event during a lengthy stay in States. As he was successful in the film industry, everyone treated him like a god Though, much less could be said for his life behind the scenes. Rumours about his unmannered and coital behaviors to multiple females circulated years ago. All the filed cases ceased and go mysteriously. Nonetheless, I gave him a benefit of doubt and agreed to meet him for lunch at a local restaurant of his choice to discuss work matters. When he began to elaborate his vision, his knowledge and crafty techniques to hone not just his actors but his movie crews as well, one could undisputedly claim that he’s an excellent entertainer and connoisseur. And he sure knows it. He offered me a lead part to two of his upcoming projects to which I nervously declined, not trusting the way he inputs sly innuendos into the conversation or when his hands and knees subtly brushed over the parts of my body that he could easily reach.

“It’s been years. What pleasure. Pleasure it is indeed. “ I grasped his hand politely then pulled back too quickly but my stare determined on his. His predatory eyes roamed over the me or at least the parts that weren’t covered by the table and chafing dish. 

“Hips are filling out I see, Last time I saw you, you were a wide-eyed 20 something bony lass. “ He added. I could feel both men stood up a little straighter beside me, jaws sharply clenched, stubborn chins held high, and fisting hands on their utensils.

“I’m sorry Mr. Lipman, don’t mean to be rude, but there’s a line forming behind you. We gotta serve all this food before it went cold. “ Tom’s voice passive yet challenging, his narrowed eyes on the man. 

“Ah yes, Mr. Holland. Great to finally meet you. “ Lipman again reached a hand to man next to me. I was vaguely aware of how taut Tom’s body is as he gripped the executive’s hand firmly. His jaw and lips still in that tight line. He didn’t repeat the same predicament as the older man. 

“I’ll see you around, sweetheart.” He removed his glasses from his shirt and jabbed the stem in my direction with an inimical promise in his voice. 

The three of us stood quietly, offered sorrys and small smiles to the countable beeline of people. None of us uttering a single word except “You’re welcome or Enjoy your food.” To the folks being attended. Hanging out with Harrison and Tom made me understood every man’s motto which is Silence is sometimes golden. Not everything that’s been said was worth wasting your breath on for a comeback.

Not until the last person left that Tom spoke up. He untied the knot of his apron behind his back as new set of servers were beginning to arrive.

“Tell me that that was the first and only time he ever talked to you like that.” I could see his gaze glaring at Lipman’s head as the pompous man sat with important-looking hospital officials identically dressed in expensive suits and dresses. 

I tried to pacify the situation by replying “He’s probably just joking.” 

The other hospital personnel who served with us had already went over the secluded spot reserved for the volunteers.

“I worked and conversed with a lot of people and directors for the nature of this business and none of them joked like that to their subordinates. He’s bad news.” Harrison implored, placing the tongs inside the dish and closing it. Both men still have unreadable yet cold looks on their faces. 

“Now, c'mon lads. Don’t reckon him one bit.” My little arms barely covering both of their wide shoulders when I shook them to which they both let out small chuckles. “C’mon, let’s stuff our faces with food, I’m famished.”

* * *

 

We love you, thank you for the picture! crowed a blonde girl, a phone in her hand. The buses that will be taking the satiated crowd back to their communities were filling up. Some people were staring or pointing at me, their whispers blurred out by the adoration of the last group of  young girls surrounding me. 

“You’re very welcome C’mere!” I rested my chin atop their heads as I hug each and everyone of them.

“Stay in school alright?” I waved back at them when they finally took their seats inside the vehicle. The people seated beside the windows have their hands and phones out, some of them shouting out my name. I smiled at them before I turned to leave and headed over to where I saw Tom sitting under a wide oak tree a while ago. A little far from the busy yet countable group of people inside the tent currently disassembling the tables and chairs.

“Here’s your win.” I bitterly handed Tom a folded 50 quid as I stooped down and sat right next to him on the grass.

“’I’m gonna have this frame in gold.” The paper made wind noises as he stretched it under his wiggling eyebrows.

“You know for a fact that if Harrison hadn’t interrupted us, I’ll be winning that last game right?” I rolled my eyes at him and rested my back against the rough bark of the tree behind us, stretching my legs as far as I could.

“Yeah, whatever sour puss.” He joked, balancing his body on his right to put the bill on his pocket. I threw him a menacing punch on the sleeve of his shirt. 

“Aw! Bloody hell! That hurt!” he quipped,, grasping a fistful of grass and throwing it on my face. 

We laughed heartily. He rested his elbows on his knees as the last of our laughs died down. I leaned back to my previous position and closed my eyes, basking in the last rays of sunlight.

“Look at those two.” Tom abruptly interrupted. I pried one of my eyes to see him looking, at Harrison and Gabby who were making their way to the catering truck.. Harrison was carrying a medium-sized box while Gabby, a few pace in front of him, held two folded plastic chairs on either arms. Both were boisterously laughing at something the other had said. Gabby stopped to give Harrison a swift kiss on the lips. 

“Didn’t see him like that with anyone before.” Tom mused, shaking his head. The two of us followed the couple as they retreated back to the tent to continue helping the crew. Most of them wanted to take pictures and talk to Tom and me therefore halting the cleaning up process. Not that we both mind the crowd but we were evidently shunned away by Gabby to avoid further delay. “Go somewhere and hide or something. We can handle this. “

“Haven’t seen Gabby that in love either.” I simpered and closed my eyes again

“You ever wonder if one of your past relationships had worked out, would you still be where you are today? Tom interrupted after a while with a mirthless chuckle. His tone wary that it coerced me to open my eyes. 

“Ok. We’re probably not talking about my exes since they’re moronic tools. So what gives?” he stared ahead,  nowhere in particular.

“Nah. Forget it.” He shrugged and exhaled loudly, looking down and pulling out the grass between his legs. 

Subtle changes in his tone and body language whenever something’s bothering hardly escape my notice. Ergo, I prodded on.

“Are we talking about dashing Miss Coleman?” I teased,  nudging him with my knee. 

“ What made you say that? “ He asked and turned his head at me, a surprise look on his face before resuming his assault on the meadow. 

“You tell me, Tommy. Come on, you can tell me anything.” I goaded a little too careful to not push any buttons. 

A few years back, back when I still wasn’t friends with Tom and Harrison yet, when he was filming and wrapping up press tours for Spiderman, rumors spread that he and Zendaya were an item. Although both of them were pretty mumed about it, candid pictures, sightings and their social media accounts told otherwise.  As far as I know, hollywood celebrity gossips were an overreaction mainly used only to sell tabloid magazines not to mention, almost 80% of them were pathetic and erroneous. 

I had the pleasure to meet her then when me and Tom were out and I remember how he stiffened when she came for a farewell hug. I knew when and when not to pry  so we stayed quiet on our ride home.

_ “Wanna talk about it?”  I asked Tom when Harrison was out of earshot.  _

_ “What about?” His eyes were glued on the Star Wars opening credits playing on the telly.  _

_ “What happened at Nottinghill. ” _

_ “ You caught that huh?” the smile that he always has on didn’t reach his eyes this time. _

_ “So, wanna tell me about it?” I leaned my body on the armrest to look properly at him.  _

_ “ It doesn’t matter now besides It was a long time ago. ”  I didn’t know what to say to that so I waited for him to continue. His eyes staring blankly on the coffee table. _

_ “I was so in love with her but she wasn’t ready to feel the same way about me.” He shrugged and smiled at me. _

_ “Well, that…. sucks.” I said after a the moment stretched between us.  _

_ “At that time, it really did.” He let out a small chuckle and played with the seam of his sweatpants. _

_ “Not to mention, ultimately ridiculous! I mean, who wouldn’t be not in love with you?” I jeered, nudging him with my foot. _

_ “Well, are you?” he playfully winked at me, a real smile on his lips this time. _

_ “Don’t count on it Holland.”  _

\-------------

“You know I’m over her, right?” he reassured me, his austere eyes on mine. I nodded and I can’t explain the relief of hearing those words.

“I just got to thinking. Would I still have met the people I have today, would I still be here serving potatoes if.. I don’t know, if something had worked out before? Or if I am one of those people from the bus. Just plain old Tom from Kensington, without fame or the private planes. Would I still have met you or Gabby?” He was staring anywhere but me, his hands interlaced together.

“Hey,” I nudged him to look at me as I sat forward and curled into an Indian sitting position. 

“Don’t regret what happened in the past for one bit, Tommy. You’re at this certain place at this certain time for a certain reason. You met people for a purpose. And if they hurt you or you hurt them, let it happen. But apologize. For reasons that any of us cannot fathom, everything always does happen for a purpose. It’s never without cause.” He nodded, listening intently.

“And life is an on-going test. You need your past’s mistakes in order to move forward. Your mishaps and decisions lead you here, sitting with me under this glorious weather..” 

I looked up at the sky and put my hands out and he followed my gaze, the corners of his mouth upturned.

“...and by this magnificent tree” I patted the scratchy surface. 

“...as I shove yet another needless life hack your way that I hoped made sense. So that accounts for something aint it?” in their own volition, i placed a hand on the crook of his elbow, squeezing lightly. His gullible brown orbs staring blankly  before an optimistic smirk bubbled from his pursed lips.

“You know I’m always quite the fan for your smashing talks of wisdom. Always.” 

“All I’m saying is, everything falls together in place eventually. If we’re meant to be in each other’s lives, then we will. Fate finds a way. It always does.” I finished, removing my hand on his. “Or you can find me at that local bookshop I love in London, all day every Saturday.” I added as a joke and shrugged.

He threw his head back up as series of chuckles had escaped from him and finally looked at me. Smile still ghosted his lips before his features sobered. I traced his eyes as it moved laterally in deep search for something on my face. And for a minute, I felt light headed and vulnerable, my insides somehow dragged down by gravity and my heart chose this time to pump blood faster and harder than necessary. I begged internally for my body to keep the blush from creeping up into my flushed face. 

For some reason, Tom doesn’t back down, our eyes bore into each other. I could almost hear the gulp he took as he drew in another breath. What’s the matter with him? A banging and loud sensation reverberated inside the prison in my head,  _ Yes! _ His electric gaze slowly moving down from my eyes, to my nose, to my 

“Hey! If you two aren’t gonna snog anytime soon, we might as well go now.” We both jumped and averted our attention at the cackling voice of Harrison standing outside the tent. 

“Fuck off Osterfield!’ Tom cussed back at him with a slight chortle. He stood up, dusting himself as he went along. With that knock-you-on-your-socks smile, he offered two open palms to me and we pulled myself up. Now, standing inches below him, my eyes met his and I can almost catch something flickering in them, promising:

“Well, I for one would’ve look for you if we’re ever under different circumstances. I won’t rest ‘til I do.” 

  
  



	5. Inevitable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Dreams say what they mean, but they don't say it in daytime language."  
> \- Gail Goodman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! If you're reading this, I just wanna say thank you so much!!!! Here's the 5th chapter! Hang in there, cause something's finally brewing. ;)

 Chapter 5 

 

**YOUR POV**  

Much to our chagrin, traffic jam had caught up right after leaving the hospital premises. Harrison and a sleeping Gabby dropped us off first before heading back to our place. We called out the old guy at the reception who raised a mug of something at us in acknowledgement. My watch read 10:46pm by the time we reached their doorstep. Our dogs’ excited barks could be heard from the other side of the door as Tom wrestled with his keys for a bit.  

“Im telling you, he’ll find a way to do it.” Tom argued, pushing the apartment door open. 

“Uhm, no. Cause I know Gabby, once she’s tired, she’s tired. You can’t make her do anything not until you’re bleeding to death that is.” I debated back cheekily. 

The traffic seemed to go on for the rest of the night ergo, to past boredom, Tom and I exchanged text messages whether Harrison would be able to pull his plan or won’t, among many other silly things. We still have to keep it under wraps since Gabby still has no idea. “What are you two scowling bout back there?” she asked before falling asleep minutes later. 

“Fine! Alright! Let’s just ask Harrison tomorrow!” he exhaled with resignation in his voice. 

. I brought a clenched fist and elbow to my knees in a sign of victory.  

“Bloody hell, you don’t give up do you.” He said after a moment, putting everything on the countertop separating the living room and their kitchen. 

I wriggled my eyebrows at him. His face contorted for a second to fight the smile from slipping through. He failed.  

“Only for you love.” I said with a laugh, hugging my dog who won’t stop bouncing up at me from the moment we enter the apartment.  

“Whatever… How are you lovely?” he knelt down to give Tessa a smooch on her gray head.  

I filled the pet bowl with water before dragging my body onto the couch, face down with a heavy groan. I hate traffic. 

“You wanna hit the shower first or should I?” Tom asked after minutes of shuffling in and out of the room. I propped my chin but kept my eyes closed as I replied. 

“Go ahead, I need a second so these cushion could suck me in.” I wiggled my body as if it would dissipate the stiffness of my legs from sitting too long.  

“You know where my room is.” He answered with a small laugh. I heard a creaking noise of the cabinet door then a wisp of wind when he threw something soft and large at my opiate position. I lifted my head when I heard him dematerialized behind the bathroom door. 

I scanned the two-bedroom flat from my lying state. It was too tidy for two grown men to live in. Not a crumb or bottles of energy drinks in sight. Perhaps Gabby’s controlling nature had finally rubbed off on Harrison. He and Tom had decided to rent this place from Gabby’s cousin whenever they want to stay a while longer after wrapping up press junkets. Possibly, it was Harrison who wanted to stay longer and Tom being wherever his mate was, would stay until he pleased. 

Willing myself to get up, I grabbed my overnight bag and the towel he threw at me to his room, the wall behind the mounted television. Two dogs sniffing happily behind me.  

His room reeked with ocean breeze laundry detergent and embodied late adolescence-ness. I noted the lack of articles of clothing and trainers scattered on the floor, unmade bed and wide open luggage last time I was here. His double bed stood at the center of the room, two end tables on either side and dark clothes hung and were neatly stacked on the exposed clothing rack. 10 pairs of shoes in an orderly pile on the floor.  

Despite the fact that he had let me sleepover a thousand times, I never heeded nor have I ever had the slight urge to interest myself on what he is like in his solidarity. I pride myself to never the one to snoop around. The prevalent awareness of being in his room haven’t bother me. Up until now. Which was the case I found myself in, prancing around his room as if for the first time in an unnamable light.  

His room can’t be categorized as neither pristine nor disorganized. Stuff  that usually don’t go well with each other –not that I know anything about interior styling- somehow complemented and blended with his impulsive personality. His obsession on shameless hoarding of any Spider-man merchandise he could get his hands on endured after all these years. “What a total nerd.” I chuckled to myself, setting down his action figure on the same spot. The red and blue collection disparate from the gray overall theme of the room. Letters and artworks from his fans were all compiled inside three black dossiers.  

I was lazily lugging my index finger on his dust-free shelf, along the lines of books and photographs of his family, co-star photo calls, sceneries when a solid wooden framed picture halted me in my tracks.  

Memories gushed in an unstoppable wave. The picture was cropped from the chest and up. I snapped this shot right after the first successful jumping obstacles I finished with my mare. We’re smiling. His cheek pressed onto mine, his other eye was squinting in order to avoid the harsh glare of the sun and my face reddened with sweat and excitement in his riding helmet. My arm was draped around his shoulders while the other extended the camera to fit us in the frame. I remembered  hurriedly leapt down to Tom, who was already reaching out for me before my booted feet even touched the damp ground. I remembered stalling in his embrace, his body radiated as if he had somehow swallowed the whole sun, his thumbs that were drawing circles on my hips, pushing down the hitch emanating from my throat. I remembered how I  together with his family went to their lake house later in the evening, his dad, stood by my side, with one comforting and familiar arm on my blanket-ed shoulders, staring ahead the setting day had said, out of the blue: 

“Sometimes it’s practical to test waters first cause no one wants to dive in murky water, knowing whether we’ll hit the rocks or sand. But this day..” he trailed off, smiling and shaking his head. “He may be daft sometimes but thank you for sticking by him. Thank you for everything you’ve done. Thank you for making him happy.”  

Before I could even ask Senior Holland to elaborate, an added weight made the docks screech in slight objection. Tom trudged to where we were, my bottled juice in hand. Frankly, I momentarily lost contact with my body, with my surroundings upon seeing his delightful face, how his curls bounced voluptuously like he’d just been prepped for some bloody movie minutes ago.  

All these years, I  try not to abide on what would  happen if Tom and I just.. that maybe _we_ could… I shook my head to eliminate the thought that’s been trying to eat me ever since once upon a time. 

 

* * *

 

**Tom POV**  

 

We were left to ourselves. Again., I think Harrison and his girlfriend liked to do this on purpose. There's a part of me wanted to strangle them both for doing this, albeit, the half part wanted to get down on my knees and hug them both with praise and reverence, saying "I owe you, big time."  

I turned the shower knob off and quickly dressed in a shirt and sweats. I walked out into an empty and barely lit hall. The only evidence of her presence was her dog sitting outside my slightly open bedroom door. I patted his furry head before I knocked gently. She was not the one to get un-clothe with the door left ajar so I peeked inside when I didn't hear a response. She was leaning on my table, holding a picture frame in her hands, and the other clutching the desk. She didn't look up until I spoke.  

"Hey, everything ok?"  

She seemed startled for a swift second before smiling at me and waving the frame in her hands. 

"I had no idea you printed and framed this."  

"It was a good day. I should dare you more often." I went to her side, brushing against her as I lean over to look at the picture. I crossed my arms over myself to hide the goosebumps running from the tip of my fingers up to the hairs on my neck.  

"Yeah. Really was." She sighed then locked her gaze with mine. I hugged myself even tighter, my fingers dug into my palms to keep from pulling her and crashing my lips to hers.. Heaven knows how badly I wanted no, _needed_ to kiss her. But I’m waiting for her. Waiting for something to cross her eyes that will somehow tell me that she wants this just as bad as I do. I do not want to come across as one of those hot-blooded exes of hers who tried to force her to do something  she does not like. _But it’s me_ , I try to tell her with my eyes _. I will never hurt you_ _._ . I hugged myself tighter to keep my heart from sprinting out of my chest as the moment of pure electricity stretched between us.  

Until it wasn't anymore. 

"I uhh.. Need to.... Take a bathe." She mumbled and broke her gaze. She handed me the frame and walked away. If she was nervous or felt at least something, she’s hiding it extraordinarily. I could feel my cheeks as they started to redden. She stopped at the door and crouched down in a playful defensive stance against her dog who wagged its tail gleefully. We let out short laughs before she disappeared. 

 

I hung my head to the ceiling and I swear I could hear Harrison say  “Youre the world’s greatest idiot..” I groaned. 

* * *

 

I couldn’t sleep. My mind has not accustomed with Harrison’s four walls of a bedroom for the past two hours.. Every time she and Gabby would come over, I’ll let her have my bed like the perfect gentleman that I was raised. I didn’t mind the couch nor Harrison’s bed because I knew my sheets would smell like her for the remainder of the week and I would wake up in the morning and bury my face in the pillow. A sweet torture.  

 I fluffed Harrison's pillow to try to make myself more comfortable. Laying like a starfish on the bed and stared up the ceiling, my mind recalling one type of conversation that  had always seem to play out every morning whenever we were alone together.. 

 The couple would show up, their elbows leaning on the countertop, hyperexcitable faces on the palm of their hands, kind of like children waiting for their slices of chocolate cake. 

 

" _So...... Did you do it?"_   

 

_I kept quiet while_ _rummaging the kitchen for_ _her favorite breakfast. Eyes never leaving my task. But shook my head.. "Nah. Wasn't the right time."_  

 

_"Oh c'mon man!" Harrison exclaimed, dropping his head  on the countertop in between in forearms._  

 

_"Alright_ _Osterfield_ _,_ _hand it over_ _." Gabby opened and closed the back of her hands._ _Harrison produced a 20 dollar bill from his wallet to give her._  

 

_“You guys are the worst. I hope you know that.”_ _I scowled under my breath._  

 

_"Thanks H_ _olland_ _" She patted me on my naked back.._  

 

_"Man! How can you chicken out on me like that, you said you're gonna tell her last night....or the night of last week..... or the fortnight......or the months before that."  He whined,_ _Emphasizing each time frame then_ _his forearms_ _inching_ _dangerously near the breakfast I'm making. I moved the plate out of the way and my eyes darted cautiously on my bedroom door. Checking for any signs or sounds of movement._  

 

_I shrugged, frowning._  

 

_"As much as I like winning against Haz, dude, you have to make a move. That window's not gonna be open forever._ _Take that_ _hunky_ _actor from GQ for example.”_  

 

_“Wh_ _at? Who?” I_ _snapped my head at her_ _. I tried to sound less_ _nervous_ _and irritated but even to my own ears, I knew I came up short._  

 

_“I forgot his name_ _. But we saw him at_ _Jamba juice last week and the punk’s leaning a_ _bit closer, in my opinion.”_   she shrugged

 

_"She doesn't like me that way." I countered, hoping to get the melancholy disappointment out of my voice. Eyes still casted down._  

 

_"She likes you. Everyone with eyes can see it. You're just both too stubborn to admit it." Gabby retorted,_ _before gulping down a carton of orange juice._  

 

_“Why?_ _Did she tell you anything_ _?”_ _I deadpanned but a little_ _hopeful._  

 

_"Actions, Holland. Actions. They speak louder than words, like the song, dumbass." She had an elbow leaning on the counter at my side as she regarded me with slight irk and concern._  

 

_"But no... She doesn't tell me anything. You know she's always been like that, bottling up her feelings til she knows she can hold it."_ _She placed_ _the cap back on her carton box._  

 

_"Well then,_ _i_ _think_ _i'll_ _just wait for that bottle to spill."_  

 

_"Tom." Harrison interrupted in a quiet tone that I_ _finally_ _looked_ _at him._  

_"You know she's not her right?. They're both, different. This is a new story. It's gonna be different this time around. You're not running blindly here, not this time." Harrison was never soft spoken_ _and sober_ _, not unless he could help it._  

 

_"Maybe we'll just lock you guys up in here for a week and then maybe we'll see. Don't make me do it." Gabby remarked, staring at the something behind me_  

 

_"Don't make you do what?" Our heads frantically turned to the sound by my bedroom door. Dressed in a sleeveless loose top and_ _pyjama_ _bottoms, her bedridden hair falling on her shoulders, the palm of her hand digging on his left eye.  Her healthy skin glowed along with the morning sun. Eyes still glossy from sleep and puffy lips pouted adoringly. It's almost impossible to be that alluring_ _during this early hour in the morning._  

 

_"Hey!!!!! Good morning sunshine! Did you just wake up?" Gabby asked, a little too cheerfully, three of us following her every movement._  

 

_"Um yeah. I didn't even hear you guys come in. How was your night?" She sat on the bar stool in front of me and Gabby, Harrison seated on the stool by her side then faced his body towards her, chin leaning on his shoulder. I exhaled a great sigh of relief, our kitchen conversation safe from her ears._  

 

_"It was fantastic_ _…” Gabby said in a haste, “_ _, by the way, I heard you got drunk last night?"_  

 

_"I did. And I'm never doing it again." She moaned, pressing her forehead on the cold counter, arms folded in front of her._  

 

_"Here you go." I pushed the garnished plate in her direction and the glass of juice._  

 

_She smiled, "You're brilliant. Did I ever tell you that?." pulling the plate near her._  

 

_Gabby made a tsk sound then walked back round to the couch. Harrison grabbed the ripe banana off of her plate before jumping out of his seat._  

 

_"Hey! That's mine!" She leapt up abruptly but regretted it in an instant. She grunted, dropping her head onto the surface again._  

 

_"You're a buffoon." I threw the dish towel resting on my shoulder at Harrison's figure who hustled out of the way. I hand her another._  

 

_"Don't you just love them?!" She mumbled under her breath, sarcastically_  

 

_"Oh and would you mind putting some shirt on Holland, she and Haz may  be used to it, but I'm not besides it's completely unhygienic." She instructed, flinging the shirt I discarded upon waking up from the armrest._  

 

_"You tell me." I chuckled, putting my shirt on._  

* * *

 

It didn’t take long before I became conscious of her little quirks: the way she would pinch her lips when she’s trying to decide about something, how she likes to pop her knuckles that always seem to creep out Harrison and how she always find something nice to say about mean people. Something about her just felt…right; like everything seems to fall into place whenever she’s near.  

 My body almost jumped when I felt the incessant and loud ring of my phone on the bedside table.. I clicked answer right away . 

 

"You still up?"  

 

"No." I kid. 

 

"Idiot. I Can't sleep." She sighed. 

 

"Me neither. What are you doing?" 

 

"Reading one of your books" 

 

"What book?" I got up and leaned against the headboard. 

 

She laughed. "You know we can just talk to each other, You're literally just across the hall. 

 

"Ok, let's meet." 

 

I hurriedly put on my shirt and walked out the door. She's already on her way to the fridge when I appeared in the kitchen. 

 

"I'm hungry. How come you don't have anything here?" She complained and closed the fridge door behind her. 

 

"Well, we're always at your place anyway."  

 

"Urgh! Let's order pizza. You're paying." She picked up the phone line in  the living room and dialed. 

 

I made my way to the couch and will my body  to heel before I do something I will regret. Like, I don't know, maybe kissing the day lights out of her until I die from deoxygenation..  

 

"Hey you wanna watch a movie?" I initiated, grabbing the remote from the floor. 

 

* * *

12:47am

 

"You know what? Fine fine! Let's just watch The Breakfast Club and we'll see who's right." She retorted, getting up from the sofa and inserting the dvd on the player, a slice of pizza dangling from her mouth. 

 

"You're gonna be so bummed out when I win the fourth time today." Putting my hands behind my head and stretching my feet under the blanket we shared on the couch. It's already 2 am and All attempts of falling asleep diminished after indulging on a box of pizza, 2 bags of chips and 4 cans of root beers. My previous jitters had died down to a embers as we fell back into an amiable and platonic routine. 

 

"Ha-ha! Move." She sneered jabbing my foot with her finger.  

 

I scooched over backwards for her to settle comfortably on the opposite side her. She rested her head on the armrest. Her sock clad feet lying near my stomach, I boldly closed my hand around them.  

 

We watched in silence for the rest of the movie until we got to the part at the end where Claire gives John his diamond earring. 

 

"See! I told you, I told you! It was an earring not a ring." I sat up and gestured towards the screen. "Oi yow Pizza!" When I didn't hear or feel a slightest of movement I extended my arm on the floor, half my body still sitting on the couch and look at her. I must have known she had dozed off. Her even breaths were calm and soothing halfway through the movie, her face appeared pallid against the television screen. I got up as gently as I could and sat on the floor, over her side. I watched her for a little while, memorizing the way her shutted eyes would twitch every few seconds, her long eyelashes fanned out attractively across her features, her pouted lips carnation in color. I saw a crease formed at the center of her eyebrows and felt a lump clogging my throat. "What are you dreaming about?" I whispered. I reached an index finger to carefully smoothen it out, and lingered.   

 

"I swear, you'll be the death of me. " Before I could help myself, i pressed a feathered kiss to her forehead in replace of my finger. 

* * *

 

8:17 am

 

I felt more than heard the sound of barely audible mumbles as it vibrated from my chest. I squinted my eyes open to see panting smiles from two dogs and instantly became aware of the soft weight nesting on my chest. I don't remember sleeping in this position earlier in the morning but damn it to bloody hell, I wasn't complaining.  

 

I or she must have moved positions during our sleep because now, on this glorious Sunday morning, our bodies lie snugly on the sofa, both my arms around her, one of her hands rested underneath my shirt, atop the unsteady thumps of my heart. Her head on my shoulder.  Blanket still draped over us. 

 

"Want. Pancakes." She mumbled, eyes still closed. 

 

A chuckle crept up onto my already- smiling face. I never knew she talked in her sleep as we've had never been in this position before. I stayed still for quite some time, careful to maintain our position in case she woke up and assess the situation with regret or something . It Could be minutes or hours;. I lapsed the ability to comprehend anything right now as I committed this moment to memory 

 

 The smell of her hair dominate the entire room, happily suffocating me to my death.  

 

Or How every inch of her molded perfectly into mine; her breathing patterns almost lulling me back to sleep 

 

Or How her warmth masked and overpower my senses, making me forget to think, to breathe.  

 

A nagging thought entered my mind that I was, in a way, taking advantage of her slumberous state, and was about to separate my body from hers but was snapped out if it when I heard her next words. Making my world rattle to smithereens then build back up again. 

 

"Mmmm.. I like you Tom.”  

I looked down on her to see if she’s woken. It probably meant anything that I hope to be but still, I couldn't fight the grin that jeopardizes to split my face in half or the euphoria openly transuding over my skin. I pressed my lips on her forehead and slowly pulled her even tighter. And i could die right after this, because she shifted closer- if that was still even possible-and lightly scratched her fingers on my bare and beating pectoral. 

 


	6. Whelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whelve (verb)  
> To bury something so deep; to hide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this has been practically sitting on my laptop for almost two months. I'm sorry to keep you waiting. I kinda lost track on what I want for this chapter, i hope this one turned out ok. 
> 
> Thank you guys for reading this!!!!

**Chapter 6**

 

From the moment I woke up to the scent of chocolate pancakes to when he asked me to go grocery shopping, Tom’s elated energy never faltered, which is not really an awful thing, but it did make me curious.

“Ok. What’s up?? Something’s happened. You’re never this…lambent.” I glared at Tom who reached out to grab two cereal boxes from the variety of choices on the shelf.

He didn’t look up from reading the label but let out a short laugh. “I trust you to be the first woman in this century to use that word again after a hundred years. I’m always ‘lambent’ as you so eloquently put it, so I don’t know what you’re talking about.

You’ve been smiling like an idiot ever since this morning.” I retorted, pushing the cart near him as he dumped a Honey Glazed Cheerios on the mountain of grocery we’ve been procuring for the past 30 minutes.

That remark made him grin all the more.

“It’s a nice day, why wouldn’t anyone not be cheery?”

I stopped in the middle of the whole foods aisle to look at him. The last time he was this mysteriously excites was when…

“My birthday isn’t for another couple of months so if you’re sneaking behind my back again- “

He picked an apple from a wooden crate and raised his eyebrows at me. “Now, don’t pretend you didn’t love that getaway.”

It was true though.

“But no, I haven’t secretly planned anything yet.” he finished.

He stood before me and patted the visor of the black baseball cap I was wearing which I borrowed from him. He leaned down to peek under the visor so he would be at my level.

“Why do my clothes look better on you than on me?” His eyes roamed on my face, a wondrous expression in his features.

He chuckled when I just stared at him, snatched the grocery list from my hands and pushed them away to take control of the trolley.

“Well, as if you can keep it. Whatever it is. You’ll tell me by the end of the day.” I boasted, crossing my arms in front of me and he laughed. He could never hold a secret.

“Come on, I’ll let you ride the cart. “

******

  
“As much as you irritate me sometimes Holland, you have to be here in 3 weeks for my party. Do you hear me?” Gabby warned before pulling Tom for a hug, one hand holding his travel bag the other wrapped around her shoulders.

Wouldn’t miss it for the world Gabs.” He assured her and they pulled apart.

“And don’t worry, Haz’s gonna be here a few days before me. I think I could live without him for a couple of days.”

“Yeah right.” Gabby scoffed as I watched the exchange from the couch in their living room.

Harrison got the call on Monday night that Tom is needed for reshooting some parts of his new film in Italy. Which meant they have to leave immediately to catch the next available flight.

One downside aspect of the job was finding ourselves in this kind of situation a little too frequently. We probably should be used to sudden engagements such as this by now but it still is an unpleasant experience to go through. Every single time.

And not just with him, sometimes with Gabby too. Because after wrapping up work appearances, Tom, Harrison and I will fly back to UK for a much earned-couple-of-weeks' vacation before we were hauled in the spotlight again. Most of the time, it’s just me and Tom, Harrison will stay for Gabby.

I turned my attention to Tessa who kept on bumping her damp nose on my knees. I scratched the excess skin on her chin and kissed her nose, smiling at the sweet angel of a dog. When I looked up, I met Tom’s almost sad eyes over the threshold.

“Your turn. Come here.” He smirked and I stood up and stepped into his arms.

I pulled away and smiled at him. It wouldn’t be weird if I stared a little longer since he’s leaving, so I indulged. I acquainted myself on how his eyes were the color of warm chocolate, too expressive and gullible for his own sake. After spending almost every day of our time together, I wanted to say that I’m going to miss him terribly but instead I settled with,

“Text me when you guys get to the hotel ok, you know how worried Gabby could be.” I whispered, my arms sliding down on his forearms, covered by his favorite grey jumper.

“Of course. “he offered me half and shy smile.

“I’ll look after Tessa till your mom gets here to pick her up.” Nodding at Tessa who appeared to have been listening to our discussion.

“Thank you.”

“Tom, driver’s here. You ready?” Harrison interrupted from the door, a matching black backpack on his shoulder and duffel back at his feet. Tom sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

Thankful for the interruption, I stepped away from him to grab my bag and Tessa’s while subtly wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans before heading out.

Tom and Harrison scanned the place to make sure they haven’t forgotten anything important and followed us through the door.

  
_________________________________________________________________________________

The gloomy day outside reflected my mood as we walked on the gutter, my hand holding Tessa’s leash the other linked around Gabby’s, closely followed by Tom.

The passenger door of their service car hung open, but before going in, Harrison stopped and turned to us.

“Babe, you got our keys, right?” Gabby nodded, leaving my side and wrapping her arms around her boyfriend.

Tom and I allowed them a minute of privacy by walking away and putting my things in Gabby’s trunk which was parked behind their black SUV service. We sat on edge of the open truck.

“Think they stopped kissing yet?” I mockingly asked, looking down at Tessa who was digging the rough pavement.

“I don’t know, let me check.” Tom turned his body around and tilted his head up. “Yup, tongues.” We groaned before a heavy silence fell before us.

Keeping my eyes on Tessa and the marks her nails had made on the pavement, I asked, “Do you know how long will you be gone?”

“Why? Will you miss me?” the teasing tone unmistakable in his voice, he nudged me with his left arm so I could look at him.

“Idiot.” I smiled. Of course, I will. “Will you?” I teased back, wriggling my eyebrows at him.

“You know, I will. “ Tom mumbled and crossed his arms. He suddenly stood straighter and alert beside me. I angled my body towards him.

“I uh, I need to tell you something. “ He stammered, digging his hands inside the pockets of his hoodie. His eyes looking down at his feet while he scraped the soles of his trainers against the scabrous pavement.

“What is it?”

He opened his mouth and closed it again as if contemplating and choosing the words to say next, but he shook his head.

“You’re making me nervous.” Because it was true. Proud of myself to finally say something honest to him. I gripped Tessa’s leash tighter for some reason, finding comfort on it.

“I just wanted to-“

“You better be kissing in there.” Harrison teased from somewhere in front of the vehicle. This man certainly has issues with his timing.

We slowly and silently walked side by side back to where Harrison and Gabby was, as if it would prevent the impending temporary farewell looming ahead of us. Giving Harrison a friendly peck on the cheek, I uttered,

“Stay out of trouble, mate.” I patted him on the back as I hug him.

“Can you do me a favor?” Harrison stated, a little too seriously.

“Anything.”

“Can you kiss Tom goodbye? My mate’s got this jealous look on his eyes right now. “I turned my body to where Tom and Gabby were standing on the gutter and at Tom who was raising a rude finger at a smirking Harrison.

“Like you have to ask. Come here Tommy.” I chuckled and raised my arms for Tom.

Tom muttered another curse word at Harrison who was lazily leaning his elbows on the open door, a hand on his hips and Gabby returning to his side.

I stood on my tiptoes to put my arms around his wide shoulders. We pulled apart but Still within the circle of his embrace, he raised a cautious hand to tuck a rebellious strand of hair off my face.

“I’ll be back okay?” He continued in a soft voice, his hand dallying on the spot below my ear.

My entire being numbed for a millisecond as I fought the urge to.. I don’t know what I want exactly. I willed my mind to evoke a quick response. Something. Anything.

I felt my head nodding slowly.

“And call me back ok? As soon as you’re free.” His eyes sincere and almost sad.

Gaining my ability to respond, I raised my eyebrows at him, “When have I never?”

I racked my brain on what else to say but completely blanked out when he leaned towards me and gave me a long kiss between my eyebrows. I closed my eyes upon contact. When I opened them, he’s looking right at me, his eyes glistening with adoration and leaned again, pressing his soft lips to my left cheek this time. My arms instinctively wrapped around his shoulders, pressing myself closer to him. Right now, it felt like the world could disappear and I wouldn’t mind.

A distinct series of clicks brought me back to the real world and Tom instantly went rigid.

“Bloody paps.” Gabby grumbled.

“Time to go buddy.” Harrison interrupted before pulling Gabby for one last kiss.

We broke apart and turned the other way around from the long lenses of photographers. My body going cold from the lost connection. Tom knelt down at Tessa and kissed her as he said his goodbye. Both men rode the car but Harrison rolled down his window and puckered his lips at Gabby who laughed and kissed him again. We waved our goodbyes after.

“What the hell was that about?” Gabby asked as we got into her car.

“What was what about?” I let Tessa in the backseat before moving to the passenger side.

“For a minute there I thought you’re gonna hyperventilate and pass out...in Tom’s arms.” She started the ignition and scrutinized me with a come-on-lie-to-my-face face.

“I was not.” I defended.

“You know you two are the most clueless persons I had ever met. “

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I defended, my heart started acceleratin and my palms moosetening as if she caught me stealing cookies from the jar.

“Urgh! My point exactly. I have never met a more oblivious person than the two of you combined and that’s saying something.”

The red light blinked and the car halted. Gabby put the shift to neutral and pulled the handbrake before inclining her body towards me.

“What’s stopping you, honey? The world sees what you both can’t see.” She said in a quiet tone, tilting her head.

I sighed. What is stopping me? I knew how I felt, I think I knew it for a while but didn’t have enough courage to confront it. Perhaps Tom’s and my own pasts relationships with other people had somehow wrecked us so inconsolably to the point that starting a new one seemed petty and unnecessary.

“Tom and I are great friends. Let’s just leave it that.” I shrugged.

“I am not one of those interviewers, so just cut the pleasantries. We both know you two are not. Well, not yet at least. This high-school like drama is so cliché. We’re too old for that shit.” She rolled her eyes and rested her elbows on the steering wheel. Why is the light taking so dang long to change?

“I feel like being scolded by my mum.” A nervous chuckle made its way past my drying throat.

“It’ll just keep resurfacing the harder you push it down and you denying it every chance you get just made it more obvious. It’s ridiculous.” She exclaimed and at that moment the lights changed, she released the handbrake to resume our drive.

We sat in comfortable silence for a little while even Tessa ceased her loud breathing until we rounded up in our underground garage. We got out of the car, got Tessa out and walked to her trunk, silence still rang in the air. I took a giant, deep breath.

“When did you notice?” Keeping my eyes anywhere but her.

“Ever since.” Gabby smiled like she was given an early Christmas present, perching her bag on her shoulders.

“Ugh. I need a drink.” I closed my eyes and groaned.

“I got you girl.” She put her left arm around my shoulders and shook me. The smile she has on made me want to smile as well.

 *****

“And so, I just got out from an excruciating surgery right, when this little boy, Erin, the one I’ve been telling you about, remember him babe? He came up to me and gave me handpicked flowers. And he was, oh my gosh, he was so adorable, he wanted to thank me before leaving, it was his last day of recovery and was just about to leave the ward. I swear, that just made my whole day.” Gabby babbled on at the cyber and moving image of Harrison from the other side of the world. She was sitting on the floor with me as I single-handedly play Tom’s video game.

“Aw. He sounded so sweet. I see there’s no reason now to be jealous of him.” Harrison joked.

“You’re an idiot, you know that Haz.” I popped my head sideways for a quick second so I can say it to his face then returned to my attention to the television.

“Nah. You just missed me.”

“Please. We have enough food that’ll last for a whole month now that you two aren’t here.” I scoffed but felt the familiar smile crept up onto my face.

“Speaking of our dear, dear friend, what were you girls drinking a few days ago?”

“How did you know about that? We didn’t tell you.” Gabby asked and sat up straighter to reach the ice cold bottle of juice behind her laptop.

“What are you talking about?” I furrowed my eyebrows but not moving from where I sat, too occupied on the screen in front of me. My opponent pointed his rifle at me and showered me with assaults, a bullet grazed my shin before I ducked out of sight. Damn.

“You called Tom’s cell the other day, you were drunk as a lord.” his voice bordering on the teasing tone he always used to irritate me and Gabby.

Gabby sputtered the beverage she’d been drinking on her Mac, staining the screen with beads of orange juice. She stood on her knees from surprise and grabbed a tissue from the coffee table.

“I WHAT??????” I shouted disbelievingly. In my distraction, I didn’t notice that a gunman was throwing his bomb at my direction and my guts exploded in the screen. I felt like that as of the moment.

“Yeah, you don’t remember any of that?” His face a picture of pure wickedness.

Me and Gabby had grabbed all the stock of wine in the “Emergency Supply Closet” six days ago. I remember sitting on the floor of our living room with some fish and chips and five bottles of red. I remember confessing Gabby everything and anything that had to do with my feelings for Tom, she was teary eyed at some point and I think I was too but we blamed the alcohol. I remember waking up on the carpeted floor of our living room with Tessa licking my face, Gabby lying on her stomach a few distance away and half our day was spent groaning with a pillow to cover our heads. But I certainly don’t remember grabbing my phone and ringing Tom in the duration of it all.

“What did she say?” Gabby sat on her feet and leaned a little bit closer to the screen, tuning the volume up to a 100 percent.

“Oh, not much.” He sat up from lying on his hotel bed and shrugged before adding:

“Just that she thinks his eyes shine whenever he talks to her when he thinks she doesn’t notice. “

I felt a huge blush oozed out of the pores of my skin, rendering me numb and speechless and…

“Kill me, kill me now.” I whined, grabbed the closest throw pillow to bury my face in it.

“She did? And what did Tom say?” Gabby’s voice was almost comical, matching his boyfriend’s.

“Oh, you know, he stuttered for a bit and said thank you.” His sobriety tore my heart. I leaned my head on the cushion behind my back and groaned.

“This isn’t happening, this isn’t happening. Oh, my gosh.” The thought of finally confiding my repressed emotions in an inebriated state was filling me with such dread and utter humiliation. Then I heard Harrison cracked an obnoxious laughter.

“As much as I enjoy tormenting your best friend babe, Tom’s phone happened to be with me, so you’re a lucky, lucky fellow!” He laughed as I removed the pillow off of my face, breathing out a huge sigh of relief. Almost.

“You utter, utter dickhead.” Gabby shook her head but grinned at the laptop camera.

“Damn you Harrison, damn you.”

“He was shooting a scene and his phone won’t stop vibrating. I thought it was an emergency so I answered it.” The amused smile never left his face.

“What else did I say?” I croaked.

“You said that you have never met anyone like him before and your friendship was just too good to be true that going anywhere than that seemed pretty scary.” Shrugging as if it he knew it all along which I know, at some point he did.

“Oh, oh! And you said you loved the way he smiled at you too! I don’t know about you, but that does sound like a confession of love to me.” Harrison smirked and placed his cheek on his left hand, a teasing yet gleeful expression painted on his face.

I instantly grabbed the pillow again and muffled a scream to it. I heard small huffs of breath and realized my dog had come over to sit beside me, probably alerted by my uneasiness. I guessed since Tessa was picked up a few days ago, I’m the apple of his eyes again.

“Way to go mate! Finally! Did you know how many years we’ve been dreaming of this moment? You admitting that you like Tom! Man! My birthday just came early!”

“Really? You’re that happy?” I replied in a sarcastic tone.

“Well, yeah. Do you know how many times do I… we have to convince Tom that he needs to stop overthinking and just do it? Gabby and I can see it, fuck, the whole world can see it but you two.” Gabby was nodding her head along Harrison’s every word, a hand patting my knee in a way of comfort.

“Did you tell him?” I whispered, my heart on my throat.

“Bloody no. It’s between you two now, our job was done.” He grinned, wiggling his thick eyebrows.

“Where is he anyway?” Gabby joined in.

“Oh, he told me wanted to get a bag of chips 45 minutes ago. Have you guys talked to him yet?”

“I did, we texted and he called me last night.” I supplied.

“So… when do you plan on telling him?” Haz queried, retaining that amused expression on his face

“It’s really making me uncomfortable, Can we talk about other subject now?”

The couple laughed and I had to glare for them to stop.

“I gotta go anyway, we have to be on set in 20minutes. I’ll talk to you guys soon. Love you babe!!”

“Bye!”

  
“You need a break Gabs, come on!” I yelled, looking over at Gabby who had her nose down in  
a scatter of papers and books on the dining table. She groaned, laying her forehead on the surface with a soft thud. She had been over her research papers for almost days now, only getting up to pee and charging her laptop.

“Your work is still gonna be there, let’s watch a movie. Your pick!” I walked over to her and playfully grabbed her arm, pulling her up to her feet to the couch.

“Urgh. Just for two hours alright?” Grabbing the remote from the table and switching from channels to channels.

“Promise! I’ll get the snacks!!” I made a run to the kitchen and grab a handful of junk food from the fridge. Leftover pizzas, some Pringles, a box of cookies from the pantry and cans of sodas. I started reheating the frozen slices of pizza but not before biting into one.

“This just in! Tom Holland seen in Venice Italy -“

“Oh hey, Tom’s in tv.” Gabby exclaimed in a bored tell-me-about-it tone, upping the volume so I could hear it from the kitchen.

“Oh yeah? What’s he up to this time?” I laughed, walking back to the living room. It’s been two days since we’ve talked last. And I don’t usually think it was something I could paranoid over for; yet I had to remind myself that I am not in that position.

“-with former co-star and rumored ex girlfriend ,Zendaya. The two were spotted having a cup of coffee over a café restaurant overlooking the city and days before were also seen coming out of Whole Foods the other day, bags of brown groceries on each arm.

“Ohhh! Are they rekindling an old romance?” The reporter in a blue dress and blonde hair asked from her high swivel chair.

“Were they really? But that couldn’t be since Tom is with-

Mute.

The pringle chip in my hand was frozen in the air started appearing less appetizing that it was a minute ago as I stood rigidly behind the sofa. Gabby lowered the remote. I wish she hadn’t turned around to face me with that wary and apologetic look on her beautiful face.

I must look as horribly as I felt in the moment.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And did I mention how jealous I am of Zendaya? I mean, co-starring with Zac Efron and Tom Holland?? Who wouldnt be jealous of that gorgeous human being??!!


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